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This presentation is intended to give  a basic understanding of the dynamics of domestic abuse.  You can utilize the handouts, suggestions in the presenters notes, and community workers to create a more in-depth understanding.  Suggested key note speakers would be therapists that specialize in domestic violence, or educators/representatives from your local domestic abuse agencies.  Use this slide for introduction. Introduce yourself, your agency and where this information was obtained.   Explain the purpose for presentation: Awareness, education, call to action.  Be sure to also acknowledge that domestic violence is a difficult topic to present, as well as to hear about.  It is painful to recognize abusive behavior in friends, jarring to realize that abuse may be occurring in your social circles and communities. The handouts that can be used with this presentation are found on the community education page.  They are;  Myths About Domestic Violence, Statistics, Definitions of Abuse, Dynamics of Domestic Violence, Compelling Reasons, Guide to Family and Friends
This is a very basic outline.  You can add modules depending on your needs.  Some areas that you may want to consider are the effects on children and teenage dating violence.
A woman is battered every 9 seconds in the United States. (The Commonwealth Fund, First Comprehensive National Health Survey of American Women, July 1993) 1 out of every 4 U.S. women has been assaulted by an intimate partner. (U.S. Department of Justice, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women, November 2000)  78% of rapes involve a person the victim knows, including husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends and former partners. (U.S. Public Health Service’s Office on Women’s Health, 1995) UNICEF’s Progress of Nations, 1997, found that a quarter to half of women around the world have suffered violence from an intimate partner. (UNICEF, Progress of Nation, 1997) The U.S. Department of Justice reported that 37% of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence-related injuries were injured by a current of former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. (U.S. Department of Justice, August 1997. Violence Related Injuries Treated in Hospital Emergency Departments. Michael R. Rand. Bureau of Justice Statistics) Husbands and boyfriends commit at least 13,000 acts of violence against women in the workplace every year. (U.S. Department of Justice, 1994)
See handout for more statistics
 
After each false statement read the true statement from below.
1. As I mentioned in the introduction, every nine seconds a women is physically abused in this country. 2.  All types of men can batter.  Men who batter are often gentle, loving, neat, clean, and successful in many areas of their lives.  It is very common for people to believe that the men who batter are unattractive, uneducated and look like batterers but the truth is they can be good friends, good fathers and  people that are well liked at work and in their communities. Their battering only occurs at home with their most intimate partner. 3.  Battered women are from all groups in our country.  Race, lack of education or wealth, and social background do not make battered women.  Many rich, educated, and well-to-do women are battered. 4.  Most battered women are not beat up everyday.  They often go out of their way to hide their injuries and scares. 
Now that we have examined some of the myths about domestic abuse, let’s look at some of the causes for choosing violence in relationships and in our society.  While the following discussion is to help you recognize that there are a number of causes for violence, they are not presented as excuses or justification.
Learned response to stress: Modeling within the family, Socialization,
Violence as positive reinforcement.
Opportunity/ Societal Forces:  This information is from the Dynamics of Domestic Abuse Handout. As we have been discussing, there are many myths and misconceptions about abusers and battered women.  Societies lack of understanding and, consequently, lack of support leaves women feeling isolated and does little to stop the abuse. Stress:  The expression of feelings, restriction of feelings, association of anger and violence, association between stress and the progression of violence Decision: Immediate or long-term planned justification,  "If she says/does that, I will be violent“ or "If I ever find out that she's (fooling around, drinking, talking to her friends about me), I'll be violent."
An important piece in understanding the dynamics of domestic violence is the definition of abuse.  Abuse is defined as the systematic pattern of behaviors in a relationship that are used to gain and/or maintain power and control over another.   When one defines domestic violence in  terms of physical abuse only they do not fully understand the dynamics that keep these relationships together. 
Ask your audience what they think of when they are defining domestic abuse.
Using a Dry Erase Board or flip chart place their answers in the appropriate areas.
Physical:  Hitting, pushing, biting, punching, choking...
Emotional:  cursing swearing, attacks on self-esteem, blaming, criticizing your thoughts feelings…. Psychological:  Threatening, throwing, smashing, breaking things, punching walls, hiding things, sabotaging your car.
Sexual:  any non-consenting sexual act or behavior 
It is important to note that many examples can be put into more than one category.  I find it helpful to say emotional abuse plays on the persons feelings while psychological alters their reality and sexual often does both.
 One of the most commonly asked questions regarding domestic violence is “Why do women stay in abusive relationships?”  It may be more appropriate, however, to examine the question “Why do men abuse the people they say they love?  Hopefully the answer to this question is being formed through our discussion on causes and definitions of abuse. To further understand the dynamics let’s look at the phases of abuse and the use of power and control.     Draw a triangle and label the left side phase # 1, tension building, the right side the sorrow or honeymoon phase and the top, the acute battering phase.   While talking about the tension building phase pull out examples from the definitions of abuse notes, focus on emotional, sexual and psychological. Discuss how this leads to the acute battering phase and then go into the importance of the sorrow phase in creating the illusion that the abuse will never happen again therefore persuading the victim to stay. This leads into a discussion of power and control.  Use the power and control information found on the Dynamics of Domestic Violence handout.  Make the connection between abuse being the systematic pattern of behaviors that are used to gain power and control over another in a relationship. Pull together all of the dynamics and you are ready to begin a discussion of why women stay in abusive relationships
The chart is a way of looking at the behaviors abusers use to get and keep control in their relationships. Battering is a choice. It is used to gain power and control over another person. Physical abuse is only one part of a system of abusive behaviors.
Abuse is never a one time event.
This chart uses the wheel to show the relationship of physical abuse to other forms of abuse. Each part shows a way to control or gain power.
 
So, why do people stay in abusive relationships?  Often people say if my partner laid a hand on me I would be out the door, but imagine for a minute , your own family.  Would you really be able to walk out the door ?  Could you leave your home your neighborhood, your friends.  Where would you go ?  Victims do not leave for a number of reasons which include: Fear of Partner’s Action: People who leave their batterers are at 75% greater risk of being killed by the batterer than those who stay.  There are also threats of hurting family members, the children and/or threats of suicide. Effects of Abuse:  Depression, feeling of immobility, the belief of having no options or choices. Isolation:  Many victims of domestic violence lose their support system because their batterer has isolated them from family and friends. Economic Dependency:  In the first year after a divorce, a woman’s standard of living drops by 73% while a man’s improves by an average of 42%.
Leaving is a process
 When friends, family members, helping agencies such as, police, shelters clergy, courts, medical personal, therapists and educators lend substantial and concerted efforts to assist victims of domestic violence in the leaving process, they are more likely to leave.  Therefore, when they stay, we as a community should look to see what we are doing to hinder the leaving process and then make changes to facilitate the leaving and ultimate safety.
Included in the handouts is a Guide to Friends and Family.
You can state that perhaps in the past you have felt that you should not get involved in a private family matter or that the violence can’t really be that bad, she must be doing something to provoke the violence, I know him- I really don’t think he could hurt anyone….. Domestic violence is not a family matter.  It is a crime with serious repercussions for your friend, her children, and the entire community. It results in more injuries that require medical attention than rape, auto accidents and muggings combined.  A victim of battering is never to blame for another person’s choice to use violence against her and finally many abusers are not violent in other relationships and can even be charming in social situations.
What can you do
•Listen to them. Believe them.
•Assure them that it is not their fault.
•Do not pass judgement on them or the person that hurt them.
•Tell them about support services that are available.
•Ask if they are safe right now.
•If they are in immediate danger call 911.
•
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